Who to avoid at work

Some of your workmates are bad news, but don't worry, you can deal with them.

There are certain people that will attract trouble to you, like sirens calling out to bring you crashing into the rocks and to your doom. Fine, so you try to avoid them. But what happens if you work with that person, and should you socialise with them after work?

Angela Munn, a Human Resources Officer advises: "There's no harm in socialising, it encourages team morale, communication and an off-the-record view of ideas and opinions. However, there is a flipside. Even though you may be socialising, in many instances it is still work-related networking and principles such as confidentiality, discretion and respect still apply."

If a 'bearer of trouble' starts on you, the best way to deal with it isn't to threaten them with road-kill in the post, but "to remain calm and in control. The reason they are difficult is because they are trying to exert their power over you. You have to manage the situation and remain calm," says Angela.
Here's a quick guide to help you identify them and thus avoid being sent your P45 earlier than expected:

• The Gossip: They are undeniably friendly but don't let your guard down, they'll pry your soul open to get the good gossip material you have inside. They can't help but use the words 'You never guess what...' as a prefix to every sentence and any news of pessaries/pile cream or your recent use of company transport (see below) will be found on the intranet before you know it. Be civil, but don't divulge or join in. It's not only addictive, but also destructive.

• The Office Bike: Good signs that they are the company transport include their clothes (clubbing wear isn't just for going out but a daily rule) and their conversation (within 30 minutes of meeting you they will have made some reference to your love life e.g. 'So I can't believe you would be single' or the destitute state of theirs e.g. 'I wish I could meet someone like you'). Remember my friends, christening the stationery cupboard is not a religious experience, no matter what they tell you.

• The Letch: Known for their persistent violation of your space; examples of space crimes include arm/hair touching, trying to sit on your knee and hugging too tight. Needy and Sleazy are the lost dwarves from Snow White and they're there are in your office. If only you could swap them for Happy, Dopey and Payrise. Don't put up with it, read up on harassment.

• The Drunk: Wears a scent you know is familiar but can't quite pinpoint. Alas, it's not Brut but vodka with upper notes of cider. The drunkard will try to get you to the boozer after, during and before work. This is not only inappropriate working behaviour (letching, belching and boasting are not the norm unless you're Homer Simpson or a salesperson) but at most offices it's also against company policy to drink whilst on the job. There's a cocktail called the P45 and drinking one during office hours could get you yours.

• The Brown Nose: The brown nose will have a parasitic relationship with the Gossip. Any useful information sapped from conversations started with 'You never guess what...' will inevitably find its way to the Boss' ear via the Brown Nose. Such is the cycle of office life. The brown nose will feed off the compost of your detritus and grow from it. Don't be a suck-up, there are better ways to impress your boss.