Disability at uni: play
Fed up with watching from the sidelines as your friends hit the student union bar? Having an illness or disability doesn't have to mean you can't have a laugh at uni.
Let's be honest, one of the biggest draws about university life is the student union bar, the all-night parties and the new friends you'll meet, but if you're worrying about your health, you'll never keep up.
Katie, a 19-year-old first year student, has rheumatoid arthritis. Although it affects her university life in many ways, she finds that her social life gets the biggest bashing. "I have to limit how often I go out, otherwise I get run down, and that makes me feel really excluded sometimes," she says. "I feel like people get bored of me not being able to do things, especially as the medication I am on means I can't drink. Getting drunk is such a big thing at uni and if you can't do that it automatically excludes you sometimes."
Get a social life
Striking the balance between looking after your body's needs and still having fun can be difficult, especially in the first few months of university when everyone's on a mission to get wasted as often as possible. The key is not to compare yourself to others. Understand what your limits are and accept that you're never going to be the campus social butterfly. If you can only go out two nights a week make the most of them by planning what you really want to do in advance. Sign up to some clubs that interest you, that way you'll find like-minded people in a sociable, non-drinking environment.
Be upfront about how your disability limits your social life right from the start with new friends, and educate them as much as possible with leaflets, websites etc. This is something that Katie regrets not doing earlier. "I feel like a lot of my friends don't really understand how difficult it is for me to socialise, although I know a lot of that is my fault for not explaining my condition to them properly. I just worry that they won't be interested," she says.
Support from friends
It is often difficult to know how to support a friend with a disability. Here are some pointers:
- Think of some non-drinking pastimes that your friend might enjoy or join a college club together;
- Organise nights in with a group of friends when they don't feel up to going out;
- Don't question them if they order non-alcoholic drinks;
- Read up on their disability without their prompt - it will show them you really care about how it affects their life;
- Be a shoulder to cry on. "It would be nice if sometimes people would just let me be miserable and cry, instead of always insisting that everything's fine," explains Katie;
- Help your friend explain their disability to other friends that don't understand;
- Support them in any courses you take together by sharing notes and revising together;
- "Sometimes the simplest support is the most important, like when a friend told me that they really hoped my arthritis would go away one day," says Katie. "It's nice to know someone cares."
Written by Hannah Jolliffe
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