Should I have a baby?
It's the biggest decision of your life, and could be the most fulfilling. Here are the major issues to consider as you work out whether it's time to become a parent.
Emotional
If you're feeling down, lonely or unloved, it's easy to think a baby will be the solution to your problems. Yes, a child may adore you unconditionally, but unless you feel good about yourself there's little chance you'll be able to meet their emotional needs in return.
You need to feel stable and fulfilled if you're going to provide a baby with a loving home. Don't be tempted to go for it as a means of filling an emotional hole. Also, be sure you feel able to talk openly about your feelings, preferably with the other potential parent of your child. Does he or she share your desire to become a parent? Is he or she prepared to make sacrifices as you are?
In addition, consider how you'd behave as a parent under pressure. Small children can behave appallingly at times, so you have to be absolutely sure you can keep your cool and not place them at risk of any kind of abuse. Of course, we learn many parenting skills by experience, but this is one issue where you have to know you won't lose it when the going gets tough.
Domestic
What kind of environment can you offer a child? If you're still living at home, at war with your parents or squeezed in with little room to breathe, will a child be able to thrive as you hope? Yes, the local authorities will seek to house a single parent or young family, but this really shouldn't be a reason for having a baby. And if you are setting up a new home, can you afford to furnish it?
Financial
Babies aren't cheap and even with careful budgeting it can be a stretch for some parents. With commitment and carefuly planning, you will find a way to fund parenthood. Just be sure to think things through with a level head.
If you're at school or college right now, for example, a baby is likely to make a tough time much tougher. Are you prepared to make sacrifices with your education, even if you plan to return to it at a later date? Juggling parenthood with a career can be equally daunting, so consider what kind of support you'd receive from your employer. Will they offer any kind of maternity (or paternity) package, over and above your statutory allowance, and just how flexible will they be when you need to leave early to relieve your childminder?
Long term
A newborn baby doesn't take up much space, eat a great deal, or demand that you give it a lift to the shops. In time, however, you'll be faced with childcare considerations, sorting out schooling and out-of-school activities. Being a parent can be as rewarding as it is demanding, of course, but it's vital that you think beyond the super-cute bundle of joy that first springs to mind when you consider having a baby.
Need to talk things through?
Whatever questions you may have about parenthood, help and advice is always out there. Nobody can tell you whether or not to have a baby. It's your choice, after all, which is why it's good to be informed when making your decision. So speak to your GP or contact one of the organisations in the Next Steps box.
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