askTheSite

young worried couple

askTheSite puts you in direct contact with expert advisors across a range of topics.

Related articles

Am I ready for sex?

Here are some signposts to help you decide whether first time sex is for you.

Being a virgin

TheSite.org gives you the lowdown on being a virgin.

Ready for bed?

Should I ask him to sleep with me?

Female masturbation

Nice girls don't, do they? Truth or taboo - you decide.

Join the discussion

talking

If you've got an issue you want to talk about or just fancy a natter, check out the boards

Who's got news for you?

girl with newspapers

How do you keep your finger on the pulse? Tell us for your chance to win a magazine subscription.

Local advice finder

Search our database of more than 16,500 local, regional and national organisations which offer advice and support.

Latest articles

Sex with an ex

Question

My ex boyfriend wants me to have sex with him. I still love him and I think I might be ready, but how do I know for sure?

I really want to have sex because, to be honest, I feel like I've got a really high sex drive for a girl, but should I wait?

Answer

There are three really important things to consider before you decide anything:

1. Even if you are desperate to rid yourself of your virginity, you need to think about whether you should with an ex.

If he's so keen on you and wants to have sex, then why is he your ex? Think about how you're going to feel if you sleep with him and then he loses interest. Is this something that doesn't bother you? Or would you like to continue the relationship once you've had sex with him? It's important you work out what you want and be aware that you may have to cope if things don't go your way.

2. Often sex isn't that great when people lose their virginity.

In fact, often it's lousy. But you should try to give yourself the best possible chance of it being lovely by doing it with someone who loves and cherishes you.

3. You say you feel you've got a high sex drive for a girl but it's not just boys that have high sex drives.

It's natural to feel desperate to have sex and plenty of it. And some women have to have several orgasms a week in order to feel relaxed and happy and satisfied. In that, they're no different from men. But having sex with the wrong person is not necessarily a good idea.

Sex is a normal, natural thing, but people often feel better about themselves if they reserve sex for partners who truly value them, so maybe it's worth you working out if your ex loves you the way you love him.

Finally, no matter when you choose to have sex, it's important you find out about contraception before you do.


Good answer? Bad info? Want to tell us what you think? We'd really like to hear what you've got to say about this answer so please click here to take the survey. Your feedback is confidential and as anonymous as you like.

Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors


Print this page Add to favourites