Domestic violence

Over the past five years, approximately 35% of murders investigated nationally in the UK have been linked with domestic violence.

The term 'domestic violence' includes: any incident of threatening behaviour, violence, or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender.

Domestic violence is more likely to result in injury than other types of assault. Domestic assaults make up one third of all common assaults, a quarter of cases of actual bodily harm (ABH), and one in eight cases of grievous bodily harm (GBH). Domestic violence can escalate in frequency and severity over time.

It is most commonly a male partner being abusive to a female partner, but sometimes females attack males, and it also happens within some same-sex relationships. The Metropolitan Police estimate that around 50% of men who attack their partners are also violent to their children. Violent physical attacks may be more likely if there has been a recent separation, there is a child contact or custody dispute, or if a woman is pregnant or has recently given birth.

Seeking help

There's more than one way to escape an abusive relationship. If the prospect of walking out of the door is just not an option, then telling someone what's going on can be helpful. Often just talking through the problem is enough to prompt a victim into taking further action.

The worst thing you can do is stay silent. If someone is abusing their power over you, physically or mentally, they are counting on you to say nothing. Often the victim is persuaded to keep quiet because they wrongly feel guilty about what is happening, as if someone how they have brought it upon themselves. It may not be easy to speak out, especially if the person behaving violently towards you happens to be someone you love, but until you do so, the situation is unlikely to improve.

In any relationship or domestic situation:

• You have the right to your own private space.
• You have the right to respect as an individual.
• You never 'deserve' to be on the receiving end of physical or mental abuse, no matter what you might be led to believe.
• You have the right to protect yourself from harm, physical or mental, by speaking out to someone you trust. If they don't listen, or find it hard to believe, tell someone else. Help is always out there, but you have to make yourself heard.
• You have a right to leave the relationship. Do this as safely as you can - plan the right moment and stay with trusted friends or in a refuge.

Finding somewhere safe to stay

If you are a victim of a violent relationship you may need somewhere safe to stay, either alone or with your children. The options are:

• stay with relatives or friends;
• stay in a women's refuge. This is only an option for women (with or without children);
• get emergency accommodation from the local authority under homeless persons law - this will usually mean a bed and breakfast hostel;
• get privately rented accommodation.

Women's Aid Refuges

Women's Aid Refuges are safe houses run by and for women suffering domestic violence. Refuges provide somewhere safe for women and their children to stay and allow some time and space for the woman to think about what to do next. Staff at refuges are specialised in dealing with domestic violence, and so can give a lot of emotional and practical support, for example, advice on benefit claims, which solicitors to use and, if necessary, how to contact the police.

To find out your nearest refuge with spaces available, you should contact the National Domestic Violence helpline (tel: 0808 200 0247). Helpline staff will do their best to find you somewhere safe to stay that night even if the local refuge is full. They are also happy to talk to women about any questions they have about refuges.

Going to the local authority

You will normally be considered to be legally homeless if it is not reasonable for you to occupy your home because of the risk or fear of domestic violence.

Local authorities (or housing executive in Northern Ireland) should deal sympathetically with applications from people who are in fear of violence. You can ask for a private interview, with someone of the same sex, and can take a friend with you for support. The local authority may have a duty to provide interim accommodation for you while it decides whether you are legally homeless.

Going to privately rented accommodation

If you decide to go into privately rented accommodation you will be unlikely to be able to arrange it quickly. This is only really an option for people who have time to plan their departure and can afford this accommodation.

Getting help in an emergency:

• Call your local Social Services Emergency Duty Team. The number will be in the local phone book.
• Call your local police station.
• Samaritans will let you talk about whatever you're going through, in complete confidence. Phone 08457 909090.