Real feelings
Question
I feel like I've faked so much in my life that I no longer know what's real. For years I just believed that if you smiled and looked happy everyone would just leave you alone but now I have no feelings about anything.
The only feelings I have are of being alone and empty. How do I feel again? How do I make everything right again? I really need your help.
Answer
It sounds like you've pretended things are OK for a long time so it's understandable you're feeling so confused about reality right now. You seem very unhappy and feeling so lonely must be very isolating and upsetting for you. Things can seem far more overwhelming when it feels like there is no one to talk to, so please be reassured, you don't have to be alone.
Life may seem empty and perhaps quite bleak at the moment, but it is important to realise you do have options. By talking about how you feel, and identifying the issues that are making you feel the way you do, you may find yourself moving forward. Or, you could consider seeking some form of support, to help you address your situation and the elements that have been troubling you.
Often it can seem pointless talking to people you know, because you feel they won't understand or don't deserve the 'burden' of your problems. Perhaps this is why it can seem easier to smile and pretend things are OK. Sometimes, it feels like people simply do not care. But there is only so much people can cope with alone and, eventually, feelings and emotions that have been bottled up seem to have an overwhelming impact.
Being misunderstood can be very frustrating and demotivating. Unfortunately, not everyone knows how to help someone who is feeling so low, or people may not even realise because they are so distracted by their own lives. But this doesn't mean they don't care. Talking to someone you know can help them understand so they can support you effectively.
If you feel speaking to friends or relatives isn't an option, you can talk to someone about how you feel, without judgement and in confidence, on SANELINE. This is a mental health helpline, for anyone affected my mental health problems and is available on 0845 767 8000. Or you can call or email Samaritans on 0845 90 90 90 or jo@samaritans.org.
If you have been feeling like this for some time, it might be worth speaking to your local doctor (GP) about it. Given time and the right support, a temporary, treatable issue may well be uncovered. For example, feelings of despair, sadness, emptiness, low self-esteem or panic could be indicators of an underlying condition such as anxiety or depression. Such symptoms could be relieved through medication or a form of talking therapy, helping you to focus on what is making you feel so low and ease some of the pressure. Your GP will be able to advise you on the options available and help you seek the right form of treatment or support.
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