Conquering fear
Question
Can you tell me how to handle fear? Whatever I do I feel fear and doubt and it's preventing me from leading a normal life. I completely lack any self-confidence and just wish I could get on with things. Can you help?
Answer
The feelings you've described must be very difficult to deal with but it's important you know you're not alone in struggling to cope with these kinds of issues.
Feelings of fear and self-doubt can be hard to handle, especially when they are a constant part of your life, and this can provoke anxiety. Everyone feels anxious some of the time, especially when stressful things are happening, for example at work or college. But as you say, it is having an impact on your everyday life and this must be very difficult for you.
You don't say whether anything's going on that may be causing you to feel fearful and doubt yourself. It may be something has happened to trigger these feelings, or there may be particular areas of your life that increase your feelings of fear and worry. These might be areas such as relationships or work, and you may want to think about these issues individually. Sometimes there is no obvious reason for feelings of low self-esteem and fear, so it can be really hard to know what's causing it.
Sometimes people find it helps to talk about their feelings with close friends or family. If you feel able to share your feelings, they may be able to help you regain some confidence by reassuring you and reminding you of things you have done well.
But, understandably, you may not feel you can do this at the moment. Anything you can do which makes you feel good about yourself may help, from being around positive people to spending time on activities or interests you enjoy. Try not to be critical of yourself, concentrate your energy on doing things you like and thinking about what you have achieved.
If you would like more advice and help to work out ways to handle these feelings you might want to consider talking things over with a counsellor. But sometimes, people find it easier to talk to someone they don't know. If you'd like to talk to someone confidentially, SANELINE offer emotional support and information to anyone affected by mental health issues. You can call them on 0845 767 8000 between 12pm-2am everyday.
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