Buddy blues
Question
I'm very concerned about a friend of mine who seems to be really depressed. He's had some bad experiences with women and forming relationships. He also has no job and says he has started to question his life.
I've no idea what to tell him because our group of friends are all in the same boat, yet he's the only one who's so upset about it. I don't know how to help him through this, but I want to be able to give him some advice. I would offer to have more nights out to help him meet someone, but neither of us has the money at the moment.
Answer
Sometimes it can be difficult to know how to help someone who is so distressed and has low self esteem and confidence. It's good he's able to talk to you about how he is feeling and, although it may not seem like it, being there to listen and reassure your friend are effective ways of helping him through his situation.
Symptoms of depression, such as feeling low, upset, angry, pathetic and worthless, can be extremely isolating, so it's important to let your friend know you are there for him. Encouraging him to talk to you about how he is feeling will help you to understand his situation better. Once you are more aware of his needs and concerns, you may find you are able to support him more effectively.
If your friend continues to feel low, it may be worth suggesting he make an appointment with his local doctor (GP). They will be able to assess his situation and explore the options of help and support available to him. If it is depression he is experiencing, there are ways of treating it with both medical and talking treatments. For extra support, it may be worth offering to go with him.
Supporting someone who is going through a difficult time can be draining. Although you're understandably very concerned about the emotional wellbeing of your friend, it's also important to take into account the impact his situation has on you, too. If you would like to speak to someone about your concerns for your friend and how it is making you feel, SANEline is a national mental health helpline available on 0845 767 8000. If you feel it's appropriate, you may like to suggest your friend calls too. You'll also find further information and a discussion board available on the SANE website.
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Question answered by SANE
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