Anxious and alone
Question
I worry about all sorts of little things all the time, things that other people wouldn't even notice. I worry about everything and can't let go of anything that bothers me. It's horrid because it means my head is never empty, it's so busy with everything else that I can't even get my schoolwork done.
It's got so bad that I think I've got Generalised Anxiety Disorder. I even spoke to my Mum about it even though we're not close because I just needed some help. But that's made it worse; she got mad at me and made me feel stupid for asking for help.
Now I can't go to a doctor because she'd have to know and she obviously doesn't think I should go. I feel even more stressed out because of this and my anxiety's got even worse. How do I get any help?
Answer
It sounds like you've been having a very tough time recently. Often people find it difficult to find a way to ask for help and it must be especially hard for you, as you say your mum made you feel stupid for wanting help. But please be assured you're not at all stupid. You've taken a brave step in asking for support and help.
Feelings of worry and stress can be hard to handle, especially when they are a constant part of your life, and this can be very anxiety provoking. Everyone feels anxious at times, especially when stressful things are happening. But, as it's having an impact on your everyday life and interfering with your schoolwork, it must be very difficult for you.
Other than saying you worry about "all sorts of little things" you don't say whether there's something particular that's happening that's making you feel anxious. Something might have happened to trigger these feelings or particular areas of you life, for example relationships or work, might be increasing these feelings. It might be useful to think about these issues individually; this might bring some clarity to your situation, making it easier to communicate how you're feeling. But sometimes there's no obvious reason for feelings of anxiety, so it's hard to know what's causing it.
You've mentioned Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD), you can find out more about GAD from No More Panic or, if you would like to speak to someone specifically about the anxiety you're experiencing you can call the No Panic helpline on 0808 808 0545. In addition, Mind produce a Guide to Managing Stress and a factsheet about how to stop worrying; these might help you deal with your stress and worry on a day-to-day basis.
If you feel you can, you might also find it helpful to talk to close friends about your feelings. They might be able to help you regain some confidence by reassuring you. This could help ease your worry about some of the things you feel so concerned about.
You say you're not close to your mum so it must have taken a lot of courage to ask for help. Although her reaction was upsetting, it might help her to understand your situation better if you continue to talk to her about what's going on. This could enable her to support you more effectively. After all, it's possible she's very concerned about you, which could be why she got mad at you. She might also be able to help you seek any appropriate support from your local doctor (GP).
Your GP will be able to assess your situation and feelings and provide you with further options. If it is GAD, or any form of anxiety, it can be treated with medication, such as antidepressants and talking therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT).
But it is also possible for you to visit a GP independently of your family; GPs (and other surgery staff too) are not allowed to disclose details of your medical records, so they won't tell your mum unless you'd like them to. But, for extra support, you might want to take a close friend or relative with you.
Talking to someone like a counsellor or therapist can be helpful, as they may help you to work through your issues in a confidential, non-judgemental environment. If you'd like to seek this form of support independently Youth Access have a search engine of local services on their website.
For more information and emotional support you can also call SANELINE in complete confidence on 0845 767 8000.
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