Drunk and dumb

Sometimes alcohol makes sensible people turn stupid. You want the proof? Here goes.

Puking

Be it on yourself, a bouncer (dangerous), a cab (costly), a mate (forgivable), or a future lover (who now won't be), vomiting when drunk happens to most drinkers one time or another. Usually the first encounter will involve cider, your teens and your front door step, then you are on a rocky road, but you never know, it could lead you to love.

"My best mate and I met two gorgeous guys at a pub in the summer last year," says 22-year-old Jess. "We'd been drinking all day and as the night progressed I got friendly with one of the blokes and we snogged. A couple of minutes later I threw up all over him. I was so embarrassed but he forgave me and we're still together."

Bedwetting

While most of us leave this behind with our toddler years, excess alcohol can cause a smelly, sticky red-faced, yellow-sheeted moment or two.

"I woke up one morning after a heavy night out to find I'd wet the bed, and the babe I'd pulled the night before was missing," admits James (25). "I saw her again in town, but she just laughed and walked away."

It's not always the bed that's wet either. "I had a party, and a lot of people crashed at my place after," says twenty-one-year old Becky. "In the middle of the night my mate got up to go to the loo, but instead of going to the bathroom he pissed in my wardrobe. The bastard."

Flashing

Think of young Brits on their hols in the sun, and you'll probably bring to mind images of arses, tits, and pants being flashed left, right and centre. Alcohol makes us lose all our inhibitions (and our clothes), which is probably why there are so many knickers and bras hanging off lampposts and railings on Sunday mornings.

While such flashing is all in the name of fun, be warned that pics of your antics can end up on an email circular of your work/ college faster than you can say 'Another tequila slammer please". Not to mention the possibility of arrest for 'outraging public decency'.

Losing the plot

This is when you talk nine to the dozen to a vague acquaintance who can't understand a word you are saying because your slurring so much; when you fall down flights of stairs, off bar stools and off your trolley; when you do things you'd never dream of sober; and when you find the simplest actions impossible.

"After about five hours of drinking, I vaguely remember a taxi journey home," recalls Cheezie (26) of a recent night out. "I also remember falling on my face. Yes, face. Not hands, or knees but face. I knew my hand was cut as I threw loads of tissue on it but left my face alone as it was so numb I didn't think I hit it so hard. I woke up next morning with swollen eye, fat lip, two cracked teeth, grazed wrist, grazed shoulder and four areas of my face grazed. Ruined the trousers and shirt I was wearing and ruined the remainder of the weekend."