Community: Real Life

The university bug


Camilla

Born and bred in Brighton, Camilla is obsessed with the word 'juice'. Nicknamed Millie by her nearest and dearest, she apparently has the ability to tickle taste buds with her cooking talents and impress others with her booty shakin', waist wiggling, hand chopping technique on the dance floor.

Camilla is sick to death of being ill at university because of other people's disgusting habits. It's all the more annoying because she's remained ever-faithful to her five-a-day fruit and veggie intake.

It's time to let it all out in the form of snot, cold sweats and a violent cough. I'm sick and tired of constantly trying to boost my immune system, only to pick up every germ being passed around at university. The annoying thing is that I think fruit and vegetables are delicious. They refresh your mouth, boost your energy and give you an overall sense of wellbeing.

As a child, I never turned my nose up at anything green or crunchy that was put on my plate. Being brought up to understand the importance of a healthy lifestyle has always had a positive effect on my life. Then I came to university and my immune system was destroyed, resulting in a series of illnesses. When you live in halls and share a kitchen with 12 others, you have to expect the dirt and bacteria that comes with it - girls urinating in the bin and kitchen sink after a night out is just one example of the filth I'm subjected to. All I can do is grin and bear it, do my own washing up and adjust to being a student living away from home. And moan about it, of course.

The other housemates find it funny to see me chopping my broccoli and grilling my salmon. This must have been a rare delicacy when they were growing up. As much as it shocks them to see me cooking fresh food, I also can't believe how little my fellow students know about food preparation. "Camilla, how do you fry an egg?", "Camilla does bacon go off?" "Camilla how do I make this?" are questions I have to answer daily.

To me, a meal isn't a meal without vegetables and I was never ill - until I came to university. It drives me crazy because apart from the occasional chicken kebab at 3am and extra units of alcohol, my diet hasn't changed! Annoyingly, I've had numerous colds and six cases of tonsillitis, with one developing into Quinsy - or 'mouth death', as I like to call it. I glare into the mirror for hours at a time staring at the disgusting white gunk that clings onto bright red, swollen tonsils. After a night out, I often wake up with the voice of Barry White. Although, I have to admit, I do enjoy this at times.

"I glare into the mirror for hours at a time staring at the disgusting white gunk that clings onto bright red, swollen tonsils. After a night out, I often wake up with the voice of Barry White. Although, I have to admit, I do enjoy this at times."

So, here I am suffering with various ailments, when at the same time my housemate is going out every night of the week, drinking copious amounts of vodka and orange and eating pot noodles or microwave meals on a daily basis. Not only have I never seen her reach for a snotty tissue (not that I would wish that on her, I hasten to add), but annoyingly she still remains a petite size eight. Where is the justice in that?

To add to my woes, I live with three boys. They leave the kitchen in an absolute mess and I'm the only one that cleans it all up. No wonder I get ill - have you seen those kitchen cleaner adverts with all the scary bugs that crawl all over the place? The other day one of the guys put three slices of pizza in his mouth at the same time, followed by a McDonalds, KFC and Dominoes pizza. But is he ever ill? No. He does sweat a lot though.

People tell me I should have eaten more worms as a child to prepare for the student life. Apparently relying on Echinacea to boost my immune system isn't a very good idea either. But I can't win. I feel like I've become a human germ sponge. On June 1 I will be lying on a hospital bed awaiting a tonsillectomy to remove the useless glands that occupy my mouth. A doctor will take a laser to my mouth and burn the suckers out. I'm going to ask if I can keep them and put them in a jar by the door like Eleanor Rigby.

All of this has come about because in my view people can't wash up properly and insist on using the kitchen sinks as toilets. Well, bring on the day I get to live in my own, clean and tidy house with an organic vegetable garden. It's going to be complete bliss.

Angry? Submit a rant


Bookmark with:What are these?

Also on TheSite.org