Community: Real Life

Hands off my things!


Paris

Paris is a magazine journalism student who is completely obsessed with celebrities and loves white wine, pizza and going shopping.

Friends who borrow things and damage them, or worse, fail to return them are more than just a little annoying, says Paris.

It's Saturday evening and my friends have just come to my house to get ready for a night out. Everyone, including myself, is in high spirits and looking forward to drinking copious amounts of alcohol and dancing the night away. Then I hear the question that I've been dreading, the one thing that makes me want to scream out in anger: "Paris, please can I borrow your top?" I feel my face tense up and my fists start to clench. Here we go again.

Now don't get me wrong, I'm a generous person and I adore my friends. If they're short of money I'll always lend them some, if they need to use my mobile because they're out of credit then that's fine by me, and if we're in a pub I'll buy a round of drinks without a second's thought. I just hate them borrowing clothes off me. Or shoes. Or accessories. Most things really. It annoys the hell out of me.

It's not that I don't believe in the principle of lending - there have been a number of occasions when I've been in need of an outfit from a mate, or they've had a pair that would go better with what I'm wearing. I don't, however, make this a regular occurrence, and when I do wear something that doesn't belong to me I look after it. I'm careful when I'm eating or drinking anything that could remotely damage it, and I make sure that once I'm finished with it, it's washed and handed back quickly. Sadly most of my friends don't follow this simple routine. I say most because some do, and I have no problem with giving them anything that they want. They are in the minority though.

Nine times out of 10 my dear possessions don't come back in the same condition as when they left me. They are in some way damaged, often in a very noticeable way. Rips, stains and holes dominate the list of crimes committed against my lovely garments. It's especially irritating when the item is expensive, or can't be easily fixed or replaced.

On one particular occasion, my friend decided to wear a beautiful top that I had recently bought on holiday in America. I hadn't even worn it myself yet. When she finally returned it to me there was a huge cigarette burn at the bottom of it. She couldn't remember how it had happened as she had been drunk at a party and assumed that her boyfriend must have done it when he hugged her. Needless to say I was not impressed. To make matters worse, it had been held there for so long that the denim skirt she had been wearing underneath had massive scorch marks on it. No prizes for guessing who that belonged to.

"She's what I refer to as a 'serial borrower'. You probably know someone like her. No matter how many clothes she has packed in her wardrobe, there is always something of yours that she wants."

She's what I refer to as a 'serial borrower'. You probably know someone like her. No matter how many clothes she has packed in her wardrobe, there is always something of yours that she wants. Everything she wears belongs to someone else, and unfortunately, she always tends to destroy each thing by either spilling make-up down it, tearing off the straps by being careless or shrinking it in the tumble dryer. I'm not the only one who gets infuriated by these various incidents. It also frustrates my Mother, who in turn blames me by saying that I should know by now not to give any of my clothes out.

Indeed I should. Yet to this day I always feel obliged to say: "Of course you can, take whatever you want." I don't want to upset them by saying "No", or by seeming rude. Also, I try to remind myself that one day I may need to borrow something from them. So the cycle continues. They want something; I lend it to them, and then regret my decision the instance I get it back. That's if I get it back at all. Belts and earrings are common examples of things that haven't been (and won't be) returned again, normally because they've fallen off without the wearer noticing.  

Often, I have planned to wear something in advance of going out. As I'm rummaging through the hangers in my cupboard I get an all-too-familiar feeling of realisation. I've lent that to a friend, and even though I've pestered them for weeks to give it back, it's slipped their mind. So I have to rethink my whole outfit.

It's an ongoing nightmare and one that I feel will never end. So if you're reading this and thinking to yourself that you are in fact one of the individuals who tend to inflict this pain on poor souls, don't be offended if the next time you ask to borrow something you hear the words: "Don't even think about it!"

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